Tonight, as I wait for my power to turn back on, I can’t
stop my mind from drifting. This quiet darkness has triggered my mind to take a
trip into the past. Through memories which have become burned into my brain and
molded me into the person I am today.
I often daydream and drift back into my earlier years; usually
with a set of headphones and a smooth playlist to help me lose myself in the
walk down memory lane. This particular trip seems to focus on the people in my life;
people I have met briefly, ones I have liked for a moment, and the few I have
deeply loved for a while.
I think most people can agree that you never fully forget
those you have loved. The people you let into your soul and the ones who let
you into theirs.
The question that comes to my mind, and I’m sure to all of
yours, when someone falls out of my life is; “What was the point?”
What is the point? Great, we had fun, we had sadness, we had
anger, we had love, we had hate, we shared our deepest darkest secrets, and for
what? To just say see ya later?
Well, I can’t answer
that for everyone. But, I know that I have learned something from each and
every person I have loved and who has loved me. I have taken something from
each relationship I have had, and hopefully given something as well.
The way I like to think of it is like a painting, or any creative
project for that matter. You start a painting, you spend a so much time on it,
putting everything into it, love, sweat, tears, muscle, energy, until one day
it’s done….Well, what do I do now? There’s nothing else you can do to the
painting, the drawing, etc. If you add one more color, one more brush stroke, it
will ruin what you have created. So you’re done. It’s over. What’s the point?
Well, I bet you’re saying, duh, hang it up! Of, course! Place
it somewhere special. Put it where there is beautiful lighting to accent the
best features and hide the mistakes that may have happened in the process, but
whatever you do; don’t just throw it in the attic and forget all the work you
put into it; and the beautiful painting that it became.
This is how I like to think about my past. I spent time on
it, put love into it, put sweat and tears and muscle into it and it has become
a beautiful collection of memories. Of course there are mistakes and tears and
rips and terrible ugly parts of the paining but, I have put these memories in
my heart, highlighting the love and happiness and ignoring the flubs that
happened along the way.
Just like art, or nature or anything really; if you focus on
the mistakes, of course it will be ugly. But, if you highlight the best parts,
the beautiful colors, the wonderful memories and all the moments of love then
you have a beautiful painting, and a beautiful life.
Have a beautiful life.
