Giving Up on Giving Up

I'm ready for a better life.

I'm ready to be somebody.

I'm ready to move forward. 

I'm giving up on giving up.

Why is it so hard to fail? Why is it such a fear of ours? I mean isn't failure just an opportunity to show how strong we actually are? To do it better? Isn't it just another chance to succeed? Failure is just another opportunity. 

Every single day I fail a hundred thousand times and I will continue failing a hundred thousand times a day. But I also succeed a hundred thousand times a day. I pick myself up from those failures.....at least I used to. 

I'll admit it; I've given up, at least a little bit. I've hit a wall and have accepted that it's impossible to break through it. My failures have become much harder to roll off my back. I am accepting my failures as the end, not the opportunity to begin again. Time to hit the reset button on my brain and this is precisely what this post is. This is my reset button. This is me giving up on giving up. 

In an article by Emma Watson (no not that one), a Lifehack expert, 5 Tips to Stay Positive in Negative Situations, she provides tools to help pick you up out of the negative puddle we all find ourselves in at one point or another. 

After reading this article I realized I have all the tools necessary to maintain a positive frame of mind, more so that most people out there. 

1. Have a Positive Support Group

2. Voice Your Blessings

3. Retrain Your Mind

4. Exercise Your Body and Mind

5. Accept Change/Failures and Find Solutions

I have so many things to be thankful for and feel blessed for. I have an amazing support system both at home and in my workplace; something that many people lack. So I have step one down! On to the next! I am on a mission. 

I would add one thing to the list. Have an outlet. Have something to completely separate you from your thoughts for a while. Relax. Have some time for yourself where you can do anything you want. For me it’s crafting, writing and dancing. A little music and a piece of paper and I will be able to mentally reset myself and be ready to take on life as it comes. 

This is my declaration of independence. From negativity, from a life full of doubt, from the black cloud that had been sitting over my head raining down negative thoughts and drowning me in my own ridiculous submission to those toxic moments of failure. No more. I won't drown, I'm a fantastic swimmer. 

-ALR  

Highlights

Tonight, as I wait for my power to turn back on, I can’t stop my mind from drifting. This quiet darkness has triggered my mind to take a trip into the past. Through memories which have become burned into my brain and molded me into the person I am today.

I often daydream and drift back into my earlier years; usually with a set of headphones and a smooth playlist to help me lose myself in the walk down memory lane. This particular trip seems to focus on the people in my life; people I have met briefly, ones I have liked for a moment, and the few I have deeply loved for a while.

I think most people can agree that you never fully forget those you have loved. The people you let into your soul and the ones who let you into theirs.

The question that comes to my mind, and I’m sure to all of yours, when someone falls out of my life is; “What was the point?”

What is the point? Great, we had fun, we had sadness, we had anger, we had love, we had hate, we shared our deepest darkest secrets, and for what? To just say see ya later?

 Well, I can’t answer that for everyone. But, I know that I have learned something from each and every person I have loved and who has loved me. I have taken something from each relationship I have had, and hopefully given something as well.

The way I like to think of it is like a painting, or any creative project for that matter. You start a painting, you spend a so much time on it, putting everything into it, love, sweat, tears, muscle, energy, until one day it’s done….Well, what do I do now? There’s nothing else you can do to the painting, the drawing, etc. If you add one more color, one more brush stroke, it will ruin what you have created. So you’re done. It’s over. What’s the point?

Well, I bet you’re saying, duh, hang it up! Of, course! Place it somewhere special. Put it where there is beautiful lighting to accent the best features and hide the mistakes that may have happened in the process, but whatever you do; don’t just throw it in the attic and forget all the work you put into it; and the beautiful painting that it became.

This is how I like to think about my past. I spent time on it, put love into it, put sweat and tears and muscle into it and it has become a beautiful collection of memories. Of course there are mistakes and tears and rips and terrible ugly parts of the paining but, I have put these memories in my heart, highlighting the love and happiness and ignoring the flubs that happened along the way.

Just like art, or nature or anything really; if you focus on the mistakes, of course it will be ugly. But, if you highlight the best parts, the beautiful colors, the wonderful memories and all the moments of love then you have a beautiful painting, and a beautiful life.

Have a beautiful life.