Thursday, November 7, 2013

Steps

Inspiration, discovery, limitlessness, impressions, opportunity, excitement, mystery, creativity, freedom, success,potential, happiness

These are all words that come to my mind when I think of my future. What are words that inspire you? Words that make your heart race? What word or thoughts give you goosebumps? There are so many things in life that make me so thankful to be alive. Music, Art, Simple Words. I am inspired by so many things. My family, friends, and passersby.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Why Do I Blog?

Rumination:
1. to think carefully and deeply about something
2. contemplation or reflection, which may become persistent and recurrent worrying


Do you ever get those constant thoughts? The ones that keep you up, wondering for days without end. Do you sit up endlessly wondering how your life will play out, how you could have changed something, or what you can do to make happen what you want to happen? My answer is yes, and I'm sure I am not the only one who wants this endless dialogue in my head to end. How can I make it stop?

This is why I blog. I blog to let my thoughts escape my mind. I blog to express the fears of my life as well as the joys and excitements. I blog to inspire and provoke thought and ways of being. I blog to be sane.

I am a natural worrier. Since I was five I have been worrying if I am doing things right, if my loved ones are happy, if it's going to rain, or if I will be successful in life. I worry about anything and everything, or as most people might call it, nothing.

Blogging has helped me to express and understand my worries, both ridiculous and reasonable. I have found a way to connect my mindless worries to concepts that allow me to see their true silliness and trivial qualities.

I have come to truly enjoy blogging in it's most purest form. I write whatever comes to my mind and hope it reaches someone somewhere who can relate and have that same moment of "aha!".

So all of you wonderful readers and writers and worriers, I blog for you, and for me, and the hope of a worry-less tomorrow.

Enjoy.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Jump

For so long I have been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I have asked myself so many questions; What is important to me? What should I be doing with my life? Is it bad to just do something that I like? Do I have to do something that betters the community? So many times I have thought that I found what I want to do, only to change my mind later. Reflecting back on my thoughts and choices I realized that I was deciding what I wanted to do with MY life based off of what I thought OTHER people would think is good. What was I thinking?

For some reason I thought I would be failing those around me if  I did anything short of becoming a nun who gave everything to needy others, or devoted all of my time to bettering the lives of the less fortunate instead of working for a fun magazine or planning events for rich people who have everything they could ever want. I realized, just recently, that this doesn't make sense. The people around me who I was trying to impress and make proud chose what they wanted to do based on what makes them feel proud, happy and accomplished; why shouldn't I do the same?

So from today on I have decided to start fresh and fulfill my interests and passions my way. I've decided to jump into life and not look back.

From now on I will be the artist of my own life. I will no longer let others decide which strokes or colors to use. I will decide what the final product will be. My life is now a blank canvas and no one will paint it but me.


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

And so it begins....


Well technically it has not yet begun for me, but for my best friends the wide open air of real life is calling their name.

As I attended all five of my roommates’ graduations I listened carefully to the speakers hoping that I might get some helpful tips on how to make it through my last semester of college. Maybe I would find some hidden message that would give me a head start and boost when it comes time for me to take the plunge into life's big ocean of trials and tribulations. I didn't find what I was looking for but what I did find was even better. While I sat through those graduations, I wanted to listen to all those great speeches, but they were just so, how do I put this...long, boring and terrible. 

What I did instead was sit there thinking about all the great times I have had at UConn, every second with my best best friends and suite mates, and how much I have changed and grown the past few years, and all because I got to know the five most amazing girls on the planet. 

Let's go back two years......

I was a scared junior in college with only a semester at UConn under my belt. I had joined a couple of groups and was starting to come out of my shell a bit but still couldn't seem to find my niche in the massive UConn bubble. That's when I met them; Lindsay, Liz, Shreena, Andrea and Nikki (Otherwise known as Lobster, The EIC, Weenie, Sassy Sandrea and Snicker-doodle). Walking into my dorm that first day I would have never thought that I would fall in love with these truly remarkable and wonderful people. They have not only been my backbone, support, defense, and cuddle system for the past two years, I have also learned so much from them. 

Shreena: She helps me with my Indian Accent. ("Varmit Up" "Pee-Pa-Loo") Without her I would sound British. 

Nikki: She runs slowly with me because I can't keep up with the rest of them on a run! Without her I would probably die of an asthma attack and no one would know because I was so far behind. 

Andrea: She introduced me, and the rest of us, to the Wobble! Without her we wouldn't have become the hottest dancers at Ladies night!

Lindsay: She stood by me while I danced my way through the center of campus singing loudly and off key, sometimes joining in. She prevented be from being doused with tomato juice by the passing students!

Liz: She has taught me how to style t-swiftlike curly hair. Now when I have daughters with afros I will be able to help them look semi-presentable. 

You see? Without these girls I would be a thirsty, British, tomato smelling, frizzy afro person having an asthma attack!

On a more serious note, these girls are my life, my loves, my very best friends and I will never ever let them go. 

Thank you flat-mates, you have made me who I am today. 

Saturday, April 13, 2013


Dreams


It's a simple question. Are we really doing what we want?

Every night as I try to fall asleep I am kept awake by the thoughts of where my life is going. Were my actions significant that day? Did I make a difference? Did I get any closer to my goal? As I have tried to answer these questions over and over again I have found that I don't know what goal I am trying to accomplish. What difference am I trying to make? What do I consider significant? What is my dream?

"When people run in circles its a very very mad world" - Alex Parks

This is exactly how I feel, like I'm constantly running in circles in my mind and trying to find what my dream is. I want to do so many things. I want to inspire, teach, build, mentor, learn. There are so many things to do! 

I finally came to the realization that I have to choose. I have to pick something to run with and work for. Its very similar to starting a project, any project, but for our references we will use an art project. When you are starting a painting for example, you have a blank canvas, this represents your life. Life is a blank sheet that is waiting to be put to use. Much like that blank canvas there are infinite possibilities for what your life will become. And much like life, you have many choices for how to execute the painting. Will you use brushes? Your fingers? Will you use oil paint? Acrylic? Will it be monochromatic? Rainbow? Abstract? Modern? There are literally millions upon millions of outcomes and ways to start and as we all know it can be a little scary.

              You just have to start and make your canvas sparkle!